Last week I went to Barnes and nobles and it was so loud and crowded in there that it wasn’t the most relaxing time for me sadly since B &N is one of my favorite places to go. This past week I took Ellie to the library and scooped out all of the quiet spaces around and I could not stop thinking about getting here today for my down time! My library is a real blessing, it has 3 floors, a kids section, adult section, and the basement is a place for book sales, meeting rooms and they also feature an artist of the month and display their artwork. Kylie and I love to come every month and check out the new artwork that is hung. Last month it was the artwork of a beautiful woman who had cancer that was inspired to paint the many faces of cancer. So she painted many different people who were diagnosed with cancer and there were little blurbs about each person next to their painting. Some people had survived and some had not and sadly the artist herself had passed away as well, so it was a beautiful memoir of who she was. A very special time for her family, I’m sure, to see her artwork displayed. This month there is photography work hung from a local photographer taken from his iPhone that you can see and also buy. Some really amazing pictures. Kylie and I especially loved the pictures he had of Venice sunsets. He took three different pictures and they were three different colors each day. Amazing! God is the true artist and you could see it all over these photos.
So finally I have my time at the library. I’ve chosen a seat in the way back, in a little personal cubby filled with plugs and a desk and free WiFi. I’ve got my water and a snack, my iPad, my notebook and my earbuds. The library is only open from 1-5 on sundays and all week I have been thinking about how long I should stay and what I will do with this time?! The thought of being away from home for 4 straight hours, and leaving my husband at home and in charge feels very greedy to me, lol. But this time is so very needed for me to regroup my mind from the past week and prepare for the new week ahead. I’ve decided that while I am here I will do my meal plan for the week, plan my weekly schedule, update my monthly calendar, update my budget and then when I f8nish all of that I will treat myself to writing for a bit and then reading for a bit. I’ve already checked my clock about 10x because I know this time will go by so fast. I feel so silly as I am writing all of this as if I a, a prisoner in my own home. It’s not true, but in this season of my life my family needs all of me all of the time. I’ve never felt stretched so thin. Having 3 children who are so far apart in age some may think it’s easy because the big kids just watch the little one right? Not at all. It’s quiet the opposite. Don’t get me wrong, my big kids have been such a blessing to me by watching Ellie when I ask them to or else I would not get to do anything by myself EVER! But my big kids also have their own busy lives and are doing their own thing most of the time, as it should be. My husbands work schedule is all over the place and he is very tired when he gets home. I try to give him time to res5 and recover after a hard days work. After all, if it weren’t for him working so hard all the time we would not get to have the life we have. So this is why I feel guilty staying away for such a long amount of time. But I know that I work hard too, very hard with no breaks. Being an introvert, I drain very quickly and this is not good for anyone around me. So this time is very good for me AND MY FAMILY. We all will reap the benefits when mom gets a much needed break.
This library is quiet. It’s so so quiet that I could put my head down and fall asleep. I should bring a sign that says “Do not disturb, tired mom trying to get 1 hour of peace and quiet.” Haha, then maybe I wouldn’t look so crazy when I close my eyes or put down my head.
This week my son had foot surgery on Monday, driving lessons on Tuesday, it was also my little ones 4th birthday on Tuesday and then my son was suppose to take his driving test finally on Friday, and then it snowed, pushing it back once again. I know it’s Gods perfect timing as to when my son gets his license. And it is so bitter sweet. Some nights I lose sleep over the thought of h8m on these crazy south jersey roads, and other days I cannot wait for him to drive because I know it will be such a HUGE help for me and give me AND HIM a little more freedom. It’s going to be good when it happens and I’m looking forward to it. I’m trusting God that he will protect him and guide him, just like he did me.
This is a busy season of choosing colleges, visiting colleges, many drama productions, swim rehearsals, art classes , senior shenanigans, registering for preschools , navigating adult Life for me and my newly adulted son.
It’s a season of learning about public school for both me and Kylie, soaking in Gods blessings of his guidance in this choice. Learning about mean people and really great people. Wonderful teachers, not so great teachers and new subjects. It’s about trying to advise her not to join everything, lol, and watching her flourish and grow.
It’s a season of discipline for both me and my toddler. Big steps for both of us learning about each other and doing hard things. For her it’s potty training and listening to her teacher in Sunday school and sharing and obeying. For me it’s learning to be firm in discipline but also gentle and kind at the same time. It’s learning how not to break her “ spirit” but also guiding her to use it best. She is basically me without Jesus, lol. All of the things she feels and let’s out very loudly I would also like to do sometimes. I always say she is me on the inside without Jesus. She will be lovely and do great things in Gods kingdom once she does find Jesus, which I pray she does!
Well my mind is mush and I only have 1 hour left of “me time” so I’m going to go read a bit. Glad to write again even if it’s a jumbled up mess of words, but that’s ok because I’m just a jumbled up mess of a person winging it every day and being carried by Jesus. ❤️✝️
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